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COWBOY BY DAY, BALLERINA BY NIGHT

 

Some folks might describe me as a quintessential man

Branding cattle, mending fences, drinking coffee from a can

But they’re only half right. There’s more to me than that.

‘Cause when that spotlight hits the stage I wear a different hat.

 

I’m a cowboy by day, ballerina by night

Graceful as a dying swan

Dressed in leather and chiffon

I ride the range all day

Then at night I leap and I twirl

A man’s got to feel like a man except

When a man’s got to feel like a girl.

 

I learned a painful lesson. I now know what occurs

When I put my feet in third position while I’m wearing spurs

Other cowboys mock me. I guess they find it hard

To ride the trail beside when I wear my leotard.

 

I’m a cowboy by day, ballerina by night

You’ll find me at the rodeos

Wearing my “Capezios”

Some folks think I’m schizophrenic

and they may be right

I’m a Cowboy by day, ballerina by night.

 

Sometimes I feel like John Wayne

Other times I feel more like Margot Fonteyn

 

When I’m not at the saloon, I’m stretching at the barre

Hell, I am the most limber cowpoke that you’ve ever seen… by far.

But I’ve got a problem, ’cause one day I’ll have to choose

Whether to die with my boots on or in my silk toe shoes.

 

I’m a cowboy by day, ballerina by night

When the working day is through

I commence to pas de deux

I ride the range all day

Then at night I leap and I twirl

A man’s got to feel like a man except

When a man’s got to feel like a girl

A-Yippee-Eye-O Plié—eee—eee

 

Words & music – Andy Corwin     ©1999    Vestigial Music, BMI

 

 

AGNOSTIC GOSPEL SONG

 

There is a train, (train, train)

that is bound for glory

But you won’t find me on board…

If-you’re-wonderin’-why, (why oh why)

come and listen to the story

Of why I’m not on a first name basis with the Lord

 

When I was a little child (just a little bitty tyke)

I used to read the gospel

and I prayed at night in my room

But then I went to college (“Hook’em Horns”)

and the required reading

included Schopenhauer, Kant and David Hume

 

In a very short time (in the relative sense)

I had to declare my major

And I chose philosophy

‘Cause I began to think (therefore I am)

that I could totally ace the midterm

Because I could already spell epistemology

 

By my sophomore year (still living in the dorm)

I began to doubt and ponder

The very existence of “you know who”

I had become (a godless heathen)

I prefer the term “agnostic (whatever…)

profound as Bertrand Russell. existential as Camus

 

          Gimme that ol’ Skepticism

          Gimme that Logical Positivism

          Dialectical Materialism’s good enough for me

          Oh, have you “warshed” in Einstein’s theory that

          Space/Time is curvilinear, not flat

          or speculate each moment of your life is

          as random as Schrödinger’s cat

 

So, today I stand here as a non-believer

But I’m tempted to change my ways

Cause recently, while I was thinking deeply

I realized agnostics don’t have any holidays

 

There goes that train, (train, train)

that is bound for glory

But you won’t find me on board…

If-you’re-wonderin’-why, (why oh why)

come and listen to the story

Of why I’m not on a first name basis with the Lord…

 

Words & music – Andy Corwin     ©1999    Vestigial Music, BMI